Love,Life, & Thoughts

Would You Love Me If Im Not Beautiful?

I wonder. I’ve been honestly thinking about this eversince. What if I didn’t look cute and pretty the first time you saw me, do you think you would even bother to look back and ask for my name? Would you think about me the night after? Would you ever bother to ask for my number? What if I was fat? Or if I looked poor? Would you waste your time asking for a date with me? Hmmmm…..

Im asking about these questions now because I thought someone like you might be honest enough to give me a clue. What if? Would you?

Anyway, Im just thinking how amazing love, attraction, intimacy, romance and datings are. Yeah, they certainly give you such feeling you can’t actually manipulate yourself to feel so. It involves timing, and even perfect light angles, and most of all, the “moment” is so vital. You feel that rush within, that tingling sensation you feel when you see the person across the room or next to you…there’s some kind of magnet. That’s almost ridiculous but always so lovely for me!

Yet, how long is it gonna sustain me, my hopes and my desires? Why won’t it last longer or even forever? Can two people atleast stay in that “pre-inlove” sensation forever? Yes, of course the answer is NO. That’s why I got to thinking also why even the most perfect couple break up after 4 years or even 6 years, because unconsciously one of the other is wishing for that sensation to light up again, to burn the moment again, to ignite that passionate romance again.

Complicated isn’t it? I feel the same way. Yet anyway. Would you even love me if Im not this way?

I need love, but not your kind of love. I want a beautiful love, not your beautiful face nor your beautiful money and not even my beautiful self on your beautiful car.

We all need love, but we often mistake love for superficial desires.

I took my brokenheart to a coffee-date.

I recently have this thing about Korean Dramas lately. Although I don’t think it’s strange of me since I always have a heart for  Romance and Love and anything that relates to uber drama, love tragedy, sufferings, heartaches…and happy endings. It’s just that I was not at all interested to anything “Korean” before, I mean no offense but it didn’t interest me maybe because I had a wrong encounter with one not so long ago when I started to think true love could possibly exist at 16. And since today, I had my heart set into talking about this new-found passion, I will talk more about the history of such tragic puppy love encounter I had had on my next blog some time.

Going back to what I said, Korean Drama has continuously amazed me for so many weeks in a row now. Like I have seen a couple or more of them these days. I couldn’t stop it, literally, and I don’t know how badly it has messed up my career and my lifestyle since I even skip eating lunch and stay up until dawn just to know how the story goes after each episode ends. And seriously, as I feel sympathy to my favorite character, I feel almost exactly the same way, the same pain, and the pain won’t go away until I see her smile again. So I have to wait for the part where the guy would overflow her with love and affection again, so I could finally sleep with a fine heart…BUT, that’s not what usually happens, when I am on that anticipated part already, I just feel so hooked up and engrossed in those beautiful moments, I don’t want it to end. And I’m sure, I can hear my prim and workaholic character sending in alarm bells. But what can I do? The story makes me really feel good. Made me feel that LOVE is always and would always be everyone’s destination, because that’s where happiness resides. LOVE attracts happiness and keeps happiness at bay. LOVE is so beautiful. LOVE is very deep and very playful too, at times it breaks us and takes away our life, our reasons to live, it overlaps our sense of reason. LOVE is so powerful, it can weaken the mightiest King, it gives HOPE to the oppressed, it lightens up the mood of someone who has a heart of stone, it makes the invincible cry, it pushes two individuals even of different worlds to be together no matter what, it defies all reasons there is to hinder it. Love is everything a man needs to sustain his mere existence. A romantic drama, like a Korean Drama most especially, made me realize that although, LOVE is not good all the time, but actually the downsides of it are what actually made it look even more beautiful. We cannot appreciate LOVE if it’s always kind. We cannot see it’s value if it’s always there. LOVE has to fade for us to look for it, and it teaches us a lesson that it is important to take care of it while we have it, because most of the time, LOVE is evasive, so evasive that when we let loose, it’s gonna be gone forever. LOVE causes us pain because that’s how it is measured. We get hurt by the same amount of love we have felt. So the sicker it makes you feel, the more reasons you have to know that you have to be thankful. You are capable of great LOVE. You LOVE truly, so you’re hurt deeply. So as what they say, In LOVE, inorder to be happy, we have to take the bad along with the good. Because that’s how it always is, be it in love and in life.

Well, I hope this blog is enough justification to how I truly feel. Words sometimes can’t really fathom all those jars of thoughts I wanna fill. And since for me, this new passion for such interest has brought me a lot of reasons to LOVE, I hope it will somehow give you the same inspiration about LOVING too.

I had just finished watching BOYS OVER FLOWER by the way, and I’m certain I have rooted most of my thoughts in here from that. The story is just overwhelmingly poignant!

Today, atleast say I Love You only because you MEAN it.

Happy Valentine’s Day Everyone!♥

“It takes maturity to accept that life will bring pain and courage to still insist on calling it beautiful. It’s like being caught in a downpour and, instead of cursing the rain, raising your hands to Heaven; humbled that God would allow you to swim in His grace. Everyday, we are invited to swim in grace.”