Love,Life, & Thoughts
They said I work too often much but I love what I do, I give my all to what I believe is life, be it in my career or in love. I value people, people's ideas, interests, choices, and simple acts of respect matter a lot to me. I am a compulsive shopper for very few selected addictions, such as books and chocolates and coffee. Someday, I'm gonna have a library in my crammed apartment. I do always want to have a lot of chocolates in my fridge, I don't get much time to eat them though, I want to purchase all coffees of different historical legends someday. Well, that's all, so far, about me. I can go on and on, but this page might not accommodate all of my thoughts.
Here's an outline of some beautiful little bits of me:
* a passionate teacher
* a wisdom seeker
* i love to talk about love, life and laughter
* i believe in destiny
* i believe that everything happens for a reason
* i believe in forgiveness
* i am a devotee for peace
* i am a woman of worth
* i cry when i'm sad
* i laugh when i'm happy
* i'm real
* i'm one hell of a woman
* i believe in love
* i believe that blessings come with a price
* i believe that success needs passion and determination
* and i believe that success happens when opportunity meets preparation.
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Am I just floating around in this moment of time and space?
It makes me wonder.
A state of mind cause I’m just fading away
And... -
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Spring. Colours. Flowers. Perfection.
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My days have been so busy lately and it’s like I have been working for so long in a day, it’s exhausting me somehow although I know how much I really love this job. I’m not sure how my life has been going on lately, I mean despite being busy, I am not sure if I’m still living the kind of life atleast a normal 25 year old would have. I have been thinking too much about so many things, planning about tons of events, deciding over so many projects and have been adapting to a lot of changes in the company as well. Somehow my life has been revolving to work and to “to do’s” only. In addition to that, I have been feeling so melancholy as well, and I’m sure it’s not just about the fickle weather recently. Like it’s really raining so hard this morning when I woke up, the usual bright morning at 6am looks darker and gloomy than what I expected. Suddenly I found myself digging my closet for no particular purpose at all. Since I woke up so early for work…and my coffeemaker has just been turned on, I found something unconsciously entertaining to do.
This is what I’ve found….
It definitely smells nostalgia. I was not supposed to open it since I know it’s been buried down there in my untouched closet for like so many years.
The memories came rushing in though. Everything about the person, the moment, the feeling and the words…the words filled with promises, warm and so sweet promises. It’s funny how everything about that past surfaced so vivid in my memory now. Even the smell of the moment seems to exist even now, in here…in this room. That smell, that smell I always loved. It’s not only the perfume though, but it’s so savory like a mixture of everything about the scent and the smell of him and the moment and everything. I must stop this now. This is not doing any good to me. Yet, my hands just keep picking up all those photos, letters, our scrapbook, that very first stalk of red rose I got when I was 16, it still looks so real now…
Everything in here and even these hands bring me back to that moment…that moment I was so young and gullible and sweet and…fragile. Then I remembered the pain, it was so painful, I can feel my heart breaking again right now. Why that has to be so painful? I thought this heart had healed? Yeah…it was all in the past now, and nothing remains but memories, bittersweet memories.
I have this keepsake with me, buried underneath… not so I can always dig them again when I’m lonely, not so I can go back to you and to our memory, not because I have not let go…I keep this because this reminds me of my pains, and my struggles, my lessons. This is a constant reminder that I have survived a broken heart, and that I am stronger now, I am different now, I have been better than that yesterday. It’s a reminder that I’m way much tougher and wiser now especially when I look at that girl sitting beside you…inside that box. It seems not so me anymore, she was so much sweeter, but I am so much lovelier now…because I am stronger.
This is just one of those days I find comfort into sinking myself back to that moment I have loved…and lost…and lived again.
Now, let’s drink coffee…and live another day.
